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Flynn’s Fabulous Arrival
I had a dream pregnancy, very little sickness, felt quite fit throughout, bar the odd cold & flu when I would have killed for something stronger than a paracetemol but I really was very lucky. Obviously like everyone, I had seen images of birthing in movies and on tv and was somewhat apprehensive about what it would be like for me. It doesn't help either that so many women feel they need to tell you a horror story about either the immense pain they or their friend's friend's cousin went through!
Well I had a friend of a friend myself and she had taken on the services of a doula, a term I hadn't heard of at the time. Our mutual friend told me she was listening to relaxation CDs, was meeting with this doula and was even considering bringing her into the labour ward instead of her husband. When she finally gave birth to her daughter, with her husband by her side I should add, I was told she listened to her CD during the labour and that when the nurses told her it was time to push, she told them that it wasn't, popped her CD back on and a little while later told them she was ready. Kids weren't even on the horizon for us at that time but that set up struck a chord with me even then. The idea that you can be in labour and yet still be in control was not something depicted in the movies when it looks like a woman is being torn in two! So when the time came for our baby I looked up the services of doula Tracy Donegan and booked in for her weekend course.
I chose to go public for my maternity care and thought that as we weren't spending there it would be a good idea to fork out for this course and others such as pregnancy yoga. The course isn't mad money at all but to be honest even it were thousands it would be money well spent.
We both got a lot from the course, it was the first time we had both sat and talked and listened about labour - what to expect etc. We watched women give birth using the GB method and that was an eye opening experience. One woman was sat on the bed in the Rotunda looking peaceful, breathing heavily, her husband answered all the questions the nurses were asking and made sure the door was shut for her privacy, it was all just so relaxed. All of a sudden she just got up, her instinct was to birth leaning in to the pillows and out popped the baby, even the midwife was shocked and had to rush to get her gloves on to help catch the new arrival! I kept that image with me a lot, as even though Tracy was convincing, you have to see it to believe it really.
So armed with my CDs and book, the gentle birth advice was to listen to your relaxation track every night and then your subconscious mind will get itself and you prepared for a peaceful birth where you are calm, comfortable and in control. Tracy suggested that you try and mix up the places you listen to it, not just in bed going to sleep every night but also when there's a bit of commotion going on, so you'll learn to zone out. I did by best with this, but to be honest it was mostly every evening that I'd pop on the headphones. It used to help me to sleep and really began to change any negative thoughts I had about giving birth around and I had a very confident positive outlook towards the whole thing.
I had chosen midwife led care through my hospital which meant very few visits to hospital - you literally only had to go in for scans, the rest of time I went to a midwife clinic near by home. Very handy, just a quick check of blood pressure, urine sample and a measure of the bump and unless you needed any further advice, which they were lovely at giving, you were on your way.
At around week 31, my baby began measuring ahead of schedule so was the size they should approximately be at week 33. So they asked me to come back within 2 weeks as opposed to a month, just to see if it was a growth spurt that would even out. It was the same story at week 33 though, so from then on I was referred to the hospital to see a consultant, so they could scan the baby and monitor the progress from there. This was a bit of a bind because the hospital clinic was a lot busier than the midwife clinic but all for the good of the baby eh!
At the hospital, while the care was fantastic, I was given ordinary scans and booked in for an ultra sound to best determine the weight and size of the child, from the first visit there was an air of caution exercised, that I was having a big baby and that either my dates were wrong or I might need to be induced or have a c section, all these were miles away from the gentle birth I was preparing myself for.
With all my preparation came an air of confidence about giving birth and I really felt I wanted to give it a go. I continued going for my weekly hospital check ups and again and again they told me I was having a big baby, now over 8lbs and really their hope was I would go early. I went into overdrive hoping to bring on the labour, then would change my mind wanting to wait and let nature take it’s course, all the while this idea of a c section looming over me.
I, and my brother & sister, were all born by caesarean section and in those days it was the norm to give a general anaesthetic so my poor mum was out for days, now it’s a fairly common procedure done using the epidural, so I’m not majorly against them, just as I say I wanted to give the birth a go naturally.
At 39 weeks the consultant said the head wasn’t engaged which suggested to him that because of the size it couldn’t fit into my pelvis and he would recommend a c section, he immediately picked up and booked one for the following week. I left disappointed but of course thought whatever was best for the baby, I would go along with. The doctor said it could be a long laborious labour that could ultimately end in a c section, wouldn’t it be best to just go straight to the section.
Initially, I tried to be as positive as possible and was of course excited at the prospect of finally meeting my little one the following Thursday but over the weekend I just began to change my mind. I was booked in for the section the day after my due date and I just felt that I’d like more time to go naturally. I rang the head of midwives and asked her if I could postpone and she changed the appointment from theatre to an ordinary antenatal appointment. Again, I almost felt I was going against the clock to try and get the baby out naturally before being faced with a section again.
My due date arrived and I had booked to have my hair done, I thought it best to stay as busy as possible and knew either way the baby was coming soon so the hairdressers would be a bit of a luxury I’d be without for some time. While in the chair, what I thought were Braxton Hicks, practice pains I’d had before began. They got quite intense and at one point I thought I was going to ask the stylist to stop but I got through it paid and left. As I was in town and had a voucher for one of the department stores and fancied buying a nail varnish you’d never spend money on unless you had a voucher, I ignoring the dull surges and headed down. Picked up a bit of lunch and headed for home. These surges would then completely disappear, then return hours later but I just went for a walk, chilled at home that night watching a DVD & having the odd sit & bounce on the birthing ball.
The following day I had a bit of work to do, so I headed out to the company I visit weekly for voice over work – even though I’d finished up for maternity leave from my main job I kept this on as it’s only an hour on a Thursday morning, though I had told them this would be my last time. As I finished, I headed to the Ladies and discovered what I thought was the mucus plug. I really wasn’t sure as you get a lot of discharge at different stages of the pregnancy and there really aren’t any photos of a bloody show in the books, I almost felt like keeping the bit of tissue to bring to my hospital appointment later that day but I resisted, flushed and headed on.
Looking back now, I did rest a lot during those couple of days, more than normal. When an opportunity would arise I’d go back to bed and read my book or doze off, I think now I was conserving my energies.
As the pains were still coming and going, nothing more than a dull ache like period cramp, and I’d had this mucus I was quite excited going back that afternoon to see the consultant that had booked my section. I was confident that he would examine me, say the head was engaged and all would be well.
While he was very nice when we arrived, he was surprised to see us and when I explained how I felt it was rushed and I’d like more time past my due date to see if I could or would go naturally he was supportive enough and just said well let’s examine you and reassess the situation.
Again, the head wasn’t engaged and he said he would strongly recommend a section. The one thing Tracy says when it comes to intervention by the hospital, whether it be induction, throughout the labour or otherwise, is just to ask questions. Why are we doing this? What if we wait? Are there any alternatives? And most importantly, is the baby at risk? Once you’ve ascertained the answers to these, whatever the outcome, at least you feel in control of decisions being made about your birth, baby & body.
The doctor was actually quite bleak that day and said things he hadn’t the week before. One of the dangers he said was, that as the head wasn’t engaged, the worry was that if my waters broke in a gush, as can happen some women, the umbilical chord could come out first as the entrance was not blocked by the baby’s head and then there was only a short time to get to the hospital. Missing this window could mean the child could be born with complications such as cerebral palsy or worse. Myself & my husband were shocked and I felt quite foolish, why was I insisted on a natural birth just because I’d done this course and listened to CDs which told me I could have this amazing birth experience? A c section was still a birth and wasn’t the health of my child the most important thing?
I apologised, as did the doctor who said perhaps he hadn’t made all the details clear the week before, the clinic is very busy with only a short amount of time per person and anyway, we had said yes to the section, allowed him to book it and I signed a consent form so he felt we understood and were on board. He attempted to book another for the following day, obviously having heard what he said I almost wanted one right there and then, but it was Thursday, they were fully booked the next day and there are no elective c sections at the weekend, so he booked me in for the following Monday morning and said if I went into labour in the meantime I was to get in to the hospital as quickly as I could.
I left a bit shell shocked, but as I had asked the questions and been given the answers, I felt I now understood the why, I was in control and I just kept repeating one of the Gentle Birth affirmations to myself ‘I will accept whatever path my birthing will take’. I also called a very good friend of mine, who had 2 c sections at the same hospital and had a lovely experience with each, no major issues with recovery afterwards, no problems with bonding or breastfeeding and as she herself said she never had to puff or pant and had her pelvic floor intact!
However, that night the dull pains returned. Again nothing mad, just something in the background, in fact pain is not an accurate description. I was aware of them, was thinking ‘is this it?’ but to be honest I was now worried about this umbilical chord issue and was annoyed at myself for wishing this on and trying a few techniques to bring on labour including aromatherapy oils, a ton of pineapple and some yoga moves my teacher had given me. Again just a chilled night in front of the box.
When the pains would go I would wish them back, when they’d come back I’d start to worry about the baby but they continued to come and go throughout the next day. One of the advices to the hubbys & partners from the course is to remember to keep the oxytoxin levels high and the adrenalin low, this helps the mum to stay relaxed. It’s suggested they do this by thinking romance, light candles, fill the bath and watch a funny DVD so we spent the afternoon watching Kick Ass on the couch. I said I wanted to get a walk in, again switching in my mood – one minute I wanted to bring the birth on, the next I wanted to wait and have the safe C section. My husband works from home so while he could be around, his phone can ring non stop, so it was nearly 8.30pm before he was ready to go for the walk and we said we’d pick up another DVD.
At this stage, I could feel myself getting agitated or restless, I kind of reminded myself of my cat when she had her kittens, in the hours before hand she kind of paced around looking for a safe place to give birth – I was a bit like that looking back and was getting a little annoyed that my husband was just carrying on as normal but is just what I needed really. He asked if I wanted to walk to the video library and back which would have been at least an hour round trip, I snapped that he was being ridiculous ‘this could be it, I could be in labour!’ so we drove. At Xtra Vision, while I was absolutely fine, the surges when they came felt a little sharp but I really felt that if this was the start of labour, it was only the very start. We chose a movie, a comedy and I said I’d wait in the car while he paid. Looking back it should have been more obvious, I really had to ease myself in and out of the car and breathe deeply but still it was totally manageable. So we drove up the beach, hubby helped me out of the car and I hobbled over the road. I pointed to a life ring about 100 yards up the beach and suggested we walk to that and back, mad stuff really but I suppose it meant I was focused on something else and we were chatting away. The sun was setting and woman went by on a horse taking him into the sea, I was taking it all in, but a little removed from it.
We came home & I had a bath, using the Love & Labour aromatherapy mix that Mary Tighe from GentleBirth had sent me. Hubby came up the stairs to tell me he may need to work for an hour or two the following afternoon, I calmly told him that while I wasn’t 100% sure I felt he should make alternative arrangements as we may be at the hospital.
We were probably at around 9.30 at this stage, though I wasn’t really watching the clock. I was replying to a few texts, people checking in with me & I said to a few ‘don’t think it will be long now…’. I then told Jonathan that it might be an idea to start putting my bags into the car, I still didn’t think we were going anywhere soon but felt if these surges were going to get more intense over time then I’d sooner get any organisation out of the way while I was up for it. I got dressed, into the night dress I had bought for the labour ward, went to add leggings but tummy didn’t like it. At this stage, while I was still happy enough, it was difficult to find somewhere to be comfortable - I didn’t really want to sit on the birthing ball, though it had been helpful in the early stages sitting circling my hips, bouncing and rocking side to side, and I didn’t want the bed or the couch. The toilet, oddly enough felt quite safe, nice and dark door closed, not locked, hubby was never far away and he kept the lights dim everywhere.
Tracy had very kindly sent me a website www.bigbabies.co.uk written by women in similar situations to mine, told they were having ‘big babies’ and that birth could be difficult. On it one woman’s birth story described how she found her contractions/surges were lasting about 10 seconds, so she would count along and when she got to 6 she knew that not only would it abate but she was also nearly there. I thought that sounded great and did it myself, it was very helpful. I told Jonathan what I was doing and that he should count along with me, though not out loud, just so I didn’t need to be conscious of him looking at me wondering if I was ok. He tried to tell me that they were actually lasting 18 seconds but psychologically I couldn’t take that so insisted we stick with 10!
I got him to ring the hospital at that stage, we did a bit of timing of the surges and they seemed to be about a minute and a half apart lasting 10 0r 18 seconds, depending on if you were going through them or watching! We didn’t do this with military precision or anything, I was definitely a bit out of it or in the zone as many of my friends who are mothers have described it. The hospital said that if I could handle it stay where I was but feel free to come in at any time. They also suggested 2 paracetemol which I couldn’t even contemplate just sounded ridiculous though perhaps they would have helped, I just stuck to my breathing.
At this stage, I said to Jonathan that if this wasn’t labour & the surges were only going to get worse and go on for ages then I thought I would get the epidural. I said ‘forget everything I’ve said before’ he of course said whatever I wanted was fine with him. I suggested we drive to the hospital now, I was kind of pacing around or going to sit on the loo and while I still felt they were manageable, I worried that if the surges were to worsen that I wouldn’t be able to sit or lie comfortably in the car for the drive into town to the hospital and once there I wouldn’t be able to converse with the nursing staff and check in. I basically thought, let’s get any organisation out of the way so I can remain relaxed and focus on what’s going on with my body.
Just as we were about to leave my mobile rang, Jonathan was pulling the car around to the front door. It was the hospital, they had just gotten my chart and saw I’d been booked for a c section so asked me to come straight in, I was a bit breathless but was able to say we were on the way.
So we drove in, it was comfortable enough, though when I surge would come I would grip the handle and get Jonathan to drive really slowly as bumps on the road were a bit iffy but then after 10 it would pass and we would be chatting again – not idle chit chat now, but talking and I was thanking him for being so great, it was all good.
We got to the hospital, got parking very close to the door and walked in. I had to stop for a quick 10 count on the way but that was grand. Jonathan checked us in with reception and the lady sent us to the assessment area.
A nurse came out and told us to wait in the waiting room, I didn’t think I could handle other people, I knew it would make me self conscious when a surge would come, so when Jonathan confirmed there were 6 other people in there I bailed into the toilet, locked the door & waited there. I prayed Jonathan would understand enough to come and get me when they were ready for me, rather than say ‘she’s in the loo’ and wait longer but I shouldn’t have doubted him, that’s exactly what he did.
I had a cold wet face cloth on the go from when we were at home, I found it very helpful. In the car, during a surge or during a break it was very soothing and relieving and gave you something else to focus on. So it was just me and face cloth in the toilet until I was called.
I had a bit more mucus while in the toilet so when I got into the assessment room I told the nurse. She told me to hop up on the table for an examination. Again, I was very much in the zone, a little out of it, but feeling fine, I hardly even felt the examination. When the nurse told me I was 10cm dilated I was very surprised but delighted, that is labour jackpot!
Next thing I know a wheel chair was brought in and I remember thinking ‘wheelchair good, not sure I could walk now’ but again I was feeling fine. The lights in the assessment room were quite bright by my standards, I’m a bit of a vampire and like very dim lighting, so I put the facecloth over my eyes – top move, as it kept me cool and calm and in my own little world. Hubby Jonathan just kept rotating the facecloth, getting water from the cooler on the corridor and I had one on my eyes and one on my chest – I’d definitely recommend that they go into every labour ward bag. He also had a sports bottle of water, also kept cold and a straw – when you want a drink you only want a sip or few and don’t really want to be handed a bottle, so that’s another top tip.
I had the urge to bear down or push, so I was thinking to myself that I was going to shock them all, I’d already reached 10cm quite quickly or so it seemed and I thought, in moments this head is going to pop out. It wasn’t quite like that, even though the surges remained manageable about 2 hours passed with little change.
The head midwife that night came in then and suggested breaking my waters. Armed with the questions given to me by the Gentle Birth course I asked – why are we doing this, is there an alternative, what if we wait and is the baby ok? They were perfectly fine with these and it just let me feel that whatever the next stage, at least I was in control and ultimately making the decisions. The midwife just explained that I had been at 10cm for a long time now and things should be moving on. I had spent some of my time in the labour room standing and wherever you go they put this sort of sanitary towel mat under you and there had been spots of liquid on that, I told her I thought my waters had already broken, but with my permission she just used her hand (to be honest I didn’t even really feel it I was so in the zone) and the waters came rushing out which actually gave quite a bit of relief and I was like ‘ah, so that’s the waters breaking’.
About an hour later (again I had no concept of time) and I was starting to get a bit fed up, I wasn’t in pain but I need to know that there was a means to an end here, that at some stage there would be a crowning glory and a baby. My husband started to say he was hungry and so tea and toast was brought in to him and he ate that in the corner while I began to push (thank god I’d the facecloth clamped over my eyes so I couldn’t see him dine, I was beginning the think of how hungry I was).
The head midwife came back in, she was very nice and I really trusted her but she was a bit of a military sergeant. I kind of needed it but every time she came back she’d be moving things along – so she ramped up my pushing. I told them I didn’t want to put my chin to my chest but with their encouragement, the toast muncher was also back by my side swapping facecloths and offering water sips, I began to push harder with their coaching. The midwife was saying ‘come on, come on, come on Clare, 3 long pushes, that’s it’ all that kind of thing and to be honest, while I’m sure it helped I think I would have liked to keep the calmness I had earlier – but as I said, I was as keen as they were to reach the finishing line.
The only time I felt a slight bit of pain was the stinging sensation as the head began to crown, but as I had done the perennial massage (not nearly as much as I should, I just did a few in the row over the last few days!) I had felt the sensation before and was ready for it. But it did sting and to push into it was tricky, but my team of 2 midwives and hubby were very supportive and I knew baby was nearly here. They explained that they’d just give me a local anaesthetic in case of a tear, again I didn’t feel that injection or the little tear (I needed 2 stitches afterwards) but they asked me before they did everything. Next thing I know, the head was out and it’s pretty much plain sailing from there – before you know it, the baby pops out and after a quick bit of suction they placed our son on my chest.
I had a little boy, the birth I had wanted, a million miles from a c section and all was great in the world. He was born at 4.31am, weighing 9.5lbs, we’ve called him Flynn and while I am happy to enjoy our little man for now I would go through the whole process again in a heartbeat.
Baby Florentine – Empowering VBAC
9lbs4oz / 4220g, 52cm long
In 2009 I had an elective section with our son as he was in breech position. I became pregnant again 13months after he was born and from the very beginning I was preparing myself for a VBAC and discussed my birth plan with my care providers. Very early in pregnancy I started to listen to the gentle birth tracks and continued to do so every day at least once until the birth.
The day before I went into labour I felt the famous burst of energy and was cleaning and nesting like mad. In the evening I went for a short but fast walk. I woke up around midnight with some period like sensations in my lower abdomen and said to my husband smiling that it wouldn't be long now. In the morning around 5am I noticed these sensations becoming more regular and I got all excited when they were about five minutes apart. I got up for a shower to see if they would stop but they stayed regular. We had a nice breakfast and I was texting my friend who was going to be my birthing partner to say that I think baby is on its journey. She advised me to inform the hospital to get some advise if I should go in or not because I was still able to move and talk through them. I rang the maternity ward around lunch time and they told me to come in and bring the bags. But we did not leave until the afternoon as I still felt full of energy and was even baking a birth day cake for our new arrival. We arrived at the maternity ward and I was so excited and full of giggles that the midwife who saw me first let us wait in the hall way until a bed was ready for me – that took about an hour...Eventually I got examined and found to be dilated around 5-6cm. Wohoooo. Great! The midwifes went through my birth plan with me and told me these are all normal things they do anyway (like intermittent monitoring, dim lighting, etc.) so I felt great. The ctg monitor was put on me every 15mins while I was standing upright – the most comfortable position for me as I could not sit down, not to mention lie down as that was really uncomfortable for me. In the evening one of the consultants came in to ask if I was happy to proceed with my birth plan and told me if I want to change my mind about anything or if there would be complications, that they will do their job, but until then I stay with the midwifes. So that was great! Really as I hoped. The only uncomfortable thing during my labour was the canula they've put into my hand just as a precaution. I was complaining about that all the time and the midwifes were laughing if that's the only thing, then I will be grand. They were all surprised that I did not seem to be in pain and that I was still laughing and joking with them. My friend and I kept walking the hall way up and down and even some stairs in the beginning and I just had to be back for a short monitoring for babys heart beat every 15mins. Around midnight I got examined again to be found I was still the same – 5-6cm but that babys head has dropped as it was still quite high in the beginning. We kept walking. The contractions became a bit more intense and I couldn't talk through them anymore – they also came more frequently – every two minutes. Around 4am I was very tired from all the walking (I have been upright walking almost 24hrs at that stage) so I tried to lie on my side which was really uncomfortable for me and I wanted to get up again. But suddenly – plopp - my waters broke. The midwife was delighted to see so much clear water. Then things happened very quick. I became sick. A slight urge to push came over me but not really there yet. I climbed back onto the bed onto my knees leaning forward against the head of the bed. The midwife asked me if I want her to examine me again, the way she asked I knew she was confident to continue but I still wanted her to check. So I was fully dilated and she said 'now you can do what ever you want'. The urge to push became stronger. I lost lots of stool and felt a bit sorry for my friend but I had to concentrate on me and baby. The contractions were very intense at that point and I was tired from kneeling and I also felt there was no progress and I just had to rest. So I was lying down again on my side but that did not work for me so I told them that I wanted to get up and stand by the bed (I always hoped to give birth standing). I collected my last resources of energy and held on to the bed which they've brought up very high and then the urge to push was so strong. I could hear the midwife saying something like 'hey baby which way are you coming out?'.
But a bit later they were shouting 'we can see dark hair' oh that felt so good and was so motivating! The midwife told me to push and pant until the head came out and then told me that I could touch babys head. That felt so good. I knew the toughest bit was over and only a few more pushes and out came my babys body. They said I was right about the sex of baby and gave her straight away to me. The midwife explained to me that my little girl was a stargazer at first but that she turned during the birth. Maybe thats why I was in such a long labour and my back was so uncomfortable in any other position than being upright. They helped me to lie down onto the bed and my legs were very shaky and my voice was gone from all the roaring...I think I woke the whole hospital or at least the maternity ward...I got an injection for the delivery of the placenta but it still took an hour for it to come out, which was lovely for me actually because I could really enjoy my baby on me – a part that I missed out on my sons birth because of the section. I got examined again and was told that I did not tear around the perineum but inside was a little tear that would have to be stitched. So only for the stitches I used the gas and air, which made me feel really uncomfortable and out of control, but it kept that painful bit to a minimum.
I walked back to the maternity ward on my own feet, just as I had imagined all the way through my pregnancy.
I am still over the moon and feeling great. During the whole labour there was not one moment where I was in doubt that I could make it. My friend and the midwife were such a fantastic support as they were believing in me and made me feel confident and that kept me going.
Another speedy arrival
Well, I’m finally getting round to type this up and am gonna save a wee copy to have as I already feel like I have forgotten loads!
I had a super pregnancy, no morning sickness or any other complications and was mobile right up to the end. The last few weeks were a pain though as I was sooooo uncomfortable in bed and has knackered with the lack of sleep!
I was convinced my whole pregnancy that I would go early and even though my sister had a baby in November and had to be induced, but I just kept hoping that I would go early! I had been bouncing on my yoga ball every day and had been taking raspberry leaf tablets for weeks which she didn’t do, so I thought they would make all the difference!
The 16th came and went and I was so disappointed, it is so true that no matter how scared you are of the labour, you do just want the baby out so you can be comfortable again! On the evening of the 16th, I went mad on my yoga ball, bouncing like crazy, determined to hurry things along. I’d had a few Braxton hicks in the last few weeks, but had no signs of anything.
I had a doctors appointment on the morning of the 17th and he had a good feel of my tummy and said that while the baby was in position, it was still moving a fair bit under my ribs and needed to drop down a little more. I walked home so depressed as he’d said that as my sister had been induced and my mum had for some of us that I would probably need to be too. I had a wee sleep that day and then sat on Facebook for a while messaging my friend who was also near her due date. We were both complaining away about how long things were taking etc etc. So, at about half 4, I signed off Facebook to take a nap before my husband got home from work. I couldn’t sleep so just listened to my gentlebirth affirmations over and over again on my ipod. At about 5, my husband came in to say that dinner was nearly ready (curry!!), but I was too fed up to eat so decided to stay in bed! I was just lying there and felt a bit pop and a gush and as we have been staying with my in-laws, I bounced out of bed for fear of wrecking the mattress! I phoned my husband who was downstairs and he came straight up. I went to the loo to check that I hadn’t just wet myself and there was a bit of blood so he phoned the hospital. The midwife said that as it was my first baby it would be hours yet but if I was worried about the blood to feel free to come in.
My husband started rushing about to get everything into the car and my mother in law kept trying to get me to eat something or take my dinner, but within about 10 mins of my waters breaking, I was down on all fours in agony. I did insist that DH ate something though, cos he is a nightmare when hungry! The contractions were coming really fast and intense and there didn’t seem to be any let up between them so we left for the hospital pretty quickly. The pains seemed to be down my thighs, which I wasn’t expecting at all. On the way down, I managed to phone my mum to let her know and told her to stay at home rather than have to wait hours at the hospital. DH had to just drop me at the door and go and park, so as soon as a contraction started to ease, I lifted my notes and ran inside…..this is where it started to get scary! The foyer was filled with people waiting on visiting hours starting and there was no one on the desk, so I stood bent over the counter trying to breathe through contractions, while everyone looked on and didn’t even offer me a seat! I finally saw someone walk up the corridor so I ran after her and told her my waters had broken and was in a lot of pain. She said that as it was my first it would be hours yet and put me in this wee room off the foyer with just a trolley in it while she went to find a midwife. I started to panic then because I immediately had to get down on all fours again, in this room on my own and panicking because I was in so much pain and DH didn’t know where I was. he found me after about 5-10 mins on my own and soon after a midwife came in who was very patronising.
It was about 1 1/2 hours since my waters had broken and she said that it would be hours yet too and anyway all delivery rooms were full, but she could see I was in a lot of pain so said she’d examine me. At that stage I was already 6cms!! I couldn’t believe it, the relief was immense, I thought I was only gonna be about 1cm and didn’t know how I’d cope with the pain for another 12 hours or so. She said she’d go try to sort out a delivery room and I told her then that I wanted the epidural so off she went. Poor DH didn’t know what to do with himself, I didn’t want to talk to be touched, I just wanted to concentrate on breathing through the contractions which felt like they were only seconds apart! The midwife took ages to come back(well about 10 mins!) and said there was a delivery room available, but when I asked about the epidural she said I couldn’t get it in that room and did I really want one.
WTF? I’d already told her I wanted one! So I just said I definitely wanted one so off she went again to order it and get me some gas and air in the meantime. I was still on all fours with the pain getting more intense. She seemed to be taking ages to come back again and we were still in this wee pokey room and I was starting to panic that I was gonna be delivering my baby in there – I was also trying to be super quiet as we were still in the room off the foyer and I didn’t want anyone to hear me! I then started to feel the need to push and managed to tell DH to tell her IF she was ever coming back. So when she did come back, DH told her I needed to push and she said I couldn’t already cos she had just examined me and I was only 6cms, but I was like, I seriously need to push! So she examined me again and then I saw panic on her face because I was 10cms already! I asked her where my epidural was and she said it was too late, so I said right I’ll have some pethadine or morphine and she said I was too late for them too, but she could give me some gas and air! She started going on about not having any delivery rooms available and ran off to get something sorted! A few minutes later she came back with 2 more midwives and a trolley to transport me to a delivery suite (past the foyer with all the people!) and told we I wasn’t to push as they hadn’t examined me yet or checked on baby! Trying not to push was the hardest thing ever, your body just wants to do it. We got top the delivery room and I still wasn’t allowed to push as they needed to put a trace on the baby and check my blood pressure. When I was finally told I could push I was so glad but wasn’t allowed anymore gas and air and 13 minutes later baby was out- just 2 and a half hours after my waters broke! It was such a surreal experience and none of it was how I’d expected! I thought I’d never cope with the pain, instead I only had gas and air for about 10 minutes, I thought it would take days and it didn’t, I thought I’d scream the place down, but I hardly made a sound and yes….I’m almost positive I pooed myself, but I couldn’t have cared less! All my notes had to be written up retrospectively as everything happened so fast and the midwife said that my next delivery would be even faster! The only downside is that I ended up with mastitis and a bad uterine infection that took 3 anti biotics and 5 weeks to clear. I blame that on the fact that I had to wait about and hour and a half after delivery to be stitched and the midwife left and didn’t come back and when I went to have a bath after – it wasn’t that clean, but you live and learn.
I am absolutely loving being a mum, he is such a good wee thing and has been sleeping 12 hours at night since he was about 7/8 weeks!
So, where to start?
I was due on the 18th Feb 2010. On the Sunday night I lost my mucus plug…all excited! (think it was Valentines night! Just remember we were eating Chinese)
Anyway, nothing happened until the day before my EDD. Had been having niggly pains that morning and on and off during the day. Nothing that id pay too much notice to. Either way, told DH to work locally that day as expected something might happen, don’t think he believed me. At 1.30pm, we had just finished lunch, stood up to clear the plates and GUSH! Ran to the loo and hopped into the bath! Don’t know why. DH and my mum were there getting all excited. Told DH to get me clean underwear, trackies, maternity pads etc. Took him forever until mum stepped in to help him look for stuff! Rang the hosp, they said to come in as my waters had gone. Didn’t leave for the hospital until approx 3pm. In that space of time, I unpacked and repacked my bags after promising DH that I was sorted…oops! Gave him a list of orders, get coal, put on a wash, turn on dishwasher…talk about nesting! Well, it was Feb and it was cold out!
Arrived at the hospital (4.40pm) and was put on a trace. Admitted to the ward at 5.40pm. Pains started coming now and getting kinda strong. Put on the Tens machine shortly after this. (bought in Lidl…did the job!)
At 7.00pm I was 3cm when checked. Got the pethadine at 8.10, found it useless! When they moved me labour ward at 8.35 pains were getting worse. I think it was at this point that I was asking for the epidural. I should mention that the pethadine made me getting real dopey and I ignored the midwife and DH when they were trying to get me into the wheelchair! I just kept saying “Give me a minute”! “In a minute” and breathing really heavy and not listening to them!
Arrived at the LW (labour ward) at 8.50 – according to the notes made by my midwife, I suppose by the time they finally got me into the wheelchair and settled probably took 15mins! Change over of staff happened at 9ish, got a really lovely midwife names Marie. She was AMAZING! The nicest lady I ever met! Got the G & A….mmmmm!
In this time, I was having such a laugh, trying to get DH to have “a go” of the G&A. I even asked the midwife if he could. I told him that they’d loads of it and that they wouldn’t mind. Also showed Marie my toenails, DHs handy work. Told her he painted them, and he did actually. She admired his neatness. DH was fantastic through it all, poor thing was dying for a ciggie but I think he only got one or two breaks the whole time we were there.
Had a bloody show around this time also. Examined at 9.15 was between 6-7 cm….I’m thinking “not too bad”. Contractions coming quite strong but manageable, 4:10 mins lasting 40-60 secs. I asked about the epidural but the midwife said I was doing really, really well and could I manage without it. I believe my reply was “sure ill give it a go”. I was thirsty from the G&A. Started off politely asking DH to fill up my glass, to just pointing at it to just nodding when I need more.
At about 10pm I went out to the loo, by 10.10 I was back in as my waters were pinkish and starting bouncing on the birthing ball and rocking back and forth. Found some relief in this.
At 10.30, I started feeling the urge to push, I’m 9cm! Holy Moley, nearly there!!! Woo Hoo.
By 11pm I’m fully dilated and starting to bear down with contractions. Then to set me back, my midwife goes on break….I mean…HELLO! Ha ha, I was nearly on the verge of begging her to stay, and felt like telling her she could have my tea and toast when it arrived. No luck, off she went. Had another lovely midwife in the meantime, strangely she asked me was I using doing Gentle birthing. I said I was and asked how she knew. She said I had a look of concentration that she has seen in other women who used Gentle birthing too. She thought I looked relaxed and in control.
At 11.40, active pushing commenced. I remember this time really well, like it was just yesterday. DH kept saying he could see the head with each contraction. The midwife said the same but it was only when DH said it that I really got like a second wind to push harder. He said he could see lovely dark hair and that I was close to meeting our baby. Don’t think I could have done it without him, he was fantastic!
At 00.12 (my EDD), our beautiful, handsome, much desired little bundle of a boy was delivered onto my tummy, cord cut by his daddy. He weighed 6lbs 9oz. It was THE most amazing feeling. Something just came over me. I started doing things without even thinking. Just starting wiping him and cleaning him and kissing him. Instinct just took over me. I don’t even remember pulling down my hospital gown and putting him on my chest and latched him on straight away. I knew I wanted to try BFing but never read up on it or anything but it was like he knew what to do and where to get his grub. DH finally got to hold him while I was being stitched (2nd degree tear). I asked was I cut and the midwife said no that I tore a little myself but needed a few stitches. I asked DH did she cut me too, don’t think I believed her. She swore she didn’t. Crazy notion I got! We got to speak to our parents, while eating toast and drinking tea. Just relaxing and laughing and admiring our piece of work.
Wasn’t moved back to the ward until 2.10am. Got a lovely text from my mum (even though Id spoken to her) saying “congrats mammy, love you. X” Then an hour later another saying “In kitchen, cant sleep”. So cute, she was bursting with excitement.
Hated when DH had to leave, felt like it was just DS and me now. Then the tears started. (got lovely text from DH when he got home, very special, thanking me for our beautiful boy and all my hard work ) Eventually fell asleep and next day was great. Felt fantastic. DS was lazy to feed from both sides and stayed in hospital a further 3 nights. By the night before we left he was feeding like a pro. It was great to get home to a lovely warm fire, our parents, my siblings and my niece and new nephew. Just loved having my family together in our home. Everyday has been amazing with our DS, he just makes me laugh out loud everyday, actually lots during the day! Can’t wait til his new brother/sister arrives……..
Congrats if you've survived til now
Liam’s GentleBirth
I had a wonderful pregnancy and I loved every minute of it. I listened to my Gentlebirth cd every night going to sleep and I had reflexology every week, so I was completely chilled out and had very few of the 'normal' pregnancy aches and pains. I was really looking forward to the birth. I know I have a low pain threshold so I was very open minded about the labour and knew if I needed an epidural I'd have one.
My due date was Sunday the 12th of December. On the evening of the 5th I started having a few crampy pains. All that week I had these pains on and off, some stronger than others but no peaking. On the Thursday (9th) I had an appointment with the consultant and asked for a sweep. Curiosity was getting the better of me and I wanted to know if these pains were something or nothing. Anyway, he told me I was completely effaced and I was thrilled that things were heading the right direction. I was so excited. That evening I had reflexology and I had a show, then I had crampy pains all night. On Friday the pains stopped, not a twinge all day.
Saturday morning, I had a small show and a few cramps. My husband and I headed off for a long walk in the snow and I had surges but nothing regular or peaking. When we got home I had huge bloody show and knew things were definitely moving. My reflexologist arrived about 2.30 and during the treatment my surges started regulating and had a definite peak. By 5.30 they were 8 minutes apart. I had to be standing during a surge. I went for a shower and by 6pm they were 5 minutes apart and still bearable. I put on the tens machine at this stage. We had something to eat and tried to watch the xfactor but I couldn't get comfortable, standing and rotating my hips was the only thing that helped. I couldn't even sit on the birthing ball. At 10pm I rang the hospital to let them know I was coming in. The pains were 2-4minutes apart and lasting anything up to 90seconds. Not regular but I couldn't stick the intensity of them.
When we arrived at the hospital, I was 3cm dilated. I thought, 'is that flipping all'. I was convinced I must be near 10!! The midwife said some of my water's had gone but I didn't know. I'm thinking it must have happened when I was in the shower. I was moved around to the labour ward and I asked for pethidine but it didn't do anything for me and at 1am I got an epidural. I had been listening to the gentle birth cd's on my ipod all evening and the battery went but it didn't matter as I'd been listening to it that often I was able to go through it in my head. After one examination, the midwife said I was still only 5-6cm and she'd check again in 2hrs but I should be more dilated than that. Well, in kicked the visualisation. And the praying! I prayed to every saint and angel and anybody else I could think of! Next examination I was 8cm. I remember being so tired but couldn't sleep. It felt sort of surreal, we'd been waiting and planning for this for so long and here we were. At the next examination, I just had a little bit of a lip left and the midwife was going to put up a drip but I felt sick so she decided to wait and see. By this time it was shift change so I was thankfully left to my own devices for a bit.
At 8.20ish I started pushing. By 9.20 I was still pushing so she called in the doctor who said the baby was still high and he'd try a vacuum then forceps. They got me all gowned up ready for a cesarean as the midwife said her theory was to be prepared and you'll not need to go. Anyway, I pushed and pushed and then the doctor said this was the last push and if baby didn't come out with that push I would have to have a cesarean. And one push later Liam was born at 9.52am, on his due date, weighing 6lb 13.5oz. He was placed on my belly and I looked down and all I could see was these big beautiful eyes looking back at me. He had been coming down at an angle and apparently wouldn't have come out by himself. We could see the track of the vacuum around the back and side of his head for days after it. I had an episiotomy but at that stage I didn't care, I just wanted my baby out. I was so tired afterwards and my arms felt so heavy I felt they wouldn't hold him. But at the same time I felt so high. Its a wonderful feeling. My sister came to see us that evening and asked would I do it again and I said definitely, without a doubt I'll do it again. We got home 24 hours later.
I think I had such a wonderful pregnancy and birth due to my regular reflexology treatments and listening to the Gentlebirth cd's. I knew what to expect in labour, the good and the bad. I had a list of birth preferences that went out the window but nothing was done without my knowledge. I knew what to expect of myself and I think most importantly I learned to be open minded and if things don't go to plan then thats ok too.
The most important advise I'd give to a pregnant woman is not to be afraid about talking about how she feels in the days and weeks following the birth. Ten days or so after the birth I felt so low and couldn't stop crying. One minute I'd be ok, next I'd be crying my eyes out. I know now many women feel like this. But it wasn't 'normal' to me as none of the women I know went through this. Well, that is until I told them how I was feeling and they all said they were the same but they never spoke about it. So I wasn't cracking up. With the help of my fabulous husband and my homeopath friend I got back to myself in a couple of weeks. Please, please don't be afraid to talk about how you're feeling, the emotions can be over whelming but its all normal.
Sorry for the long story. It took me 4months to get started then I couldn't stop!
American Arrival
Hi Tracy,
I've been meaning to email you for a long time. I bought your Gentle birth program last spring and loved it.
The actual delivery involved more intervention than I had hoped for. I was given pitocin at the very end, doc said my contractions were not strong enough, and an episiotomy as the baby got distressed. I really believe that if they had just given me the chance to keep going at my own pace, none of this would have been necessary. Despite that, it was the most amazing experience of my life. I don't think anything will compare with the thrill of giving birth and the emotional high I felt when I first laid eyes on my perfect baby girl and fell completely and totally in love at first sight. That was 9 months ago and I still choke up a little thinking about it.
I just wanted to email to thank you for your wonderful gentle birth program. I have been raving about it to all my pregnant friends. I honestly think that was the greatest $100 I've ever spent.
Whenever we have another baby I'm hoping to find a doc or midwife who's more prepared to facilitate a natural birth but I'll definitely be listening to my gentle birth CD from day 1.
Thank you so much. Keep up the good work.
Empowered to Make Decisions
Well it has been 5 weeks plus 1 day since our little baby was born and we are really enjoying every minute with her since then, getting to know her been on of the biggest pleasures of my life but I guess I should start at the beginning...
I attended the Rotunda for a check up on the 1st March which was one day after my due date. The consultant there saw no cervical activity at that point but said that I could of course spontaneously go into labour any day. The consultant booked me in for an induction on the 9th March anyway and I agreed thinking I would have my baby home by then so go ahead and book it if you like! But then a week passed with no signs whatsoever of labour which I guess is a pretty common situation. I went back into the Rotunda on the 9th before I was due in for the induction. I wanted to request an extension for a few days. A different consultant checked both me and my baby at that point and as all appeared normal, she agreed to let me go for another few days. My partner and I had discussed it beforehand and had agreed if nothing happened by the 12th that we would be happy enough to be induced as the waiting was quite stressful for us. The consultant booked me in for the 12th anyway and in the days before that, nothing whatsoever happened apart from a little show and some mild pains.
I was coming to terms with a managed birth although I felt very disappointed at not having the 'labouring at home' experience that I had spent so many months preparing for and looking forward to. With great excitement we went into the Rotunda on the 12th and were placed into the annex of the delivery suite where lots of women were getting induced just like me. It was quite chilled out and relaxed - I was listening to my Gentle Birth CDs and reading books when we were not walking about. The doctor administered some prostaglandin gel onto my cervix and my husband and I walked the corridors thinking of all the other couples and women who had done the same thing before us. At 6pm they were able to break my waters and told me I had two hours in which to begin dilation/having contractions or they were going to have to put me on the oxytocin drip. I initially accepted this but then remembered my Gentlebirth training and realised that I could ask for an extension to this. They seemed a bit surprised but agreed to an extension and told us off the record to stay below the radar for a few hours (ie go for a lot of walks between checks for heartbeat!). We did that and my partner was great - providing lots of support throughout as labour began to become more of a reality. Because there were no signs of foetal distress, I think they didn't mind letting me try to go into labour by myself. I was taken into the delivery room at 11pm that night - the room was nice & peaceful with very subdued lighting - I felt good about it.
They agreed to check for any dilation at that point but big disappointment - I was in no way dilated - I was so disappointed but agreed to the drip which meant having a constant trace to check for the heartbeat and to be connected to the IV at all times with only very limited mobility. I quickly began having contractions which rapidly increased in intensity. I listened to my CDS and sat on the birth ball while my partner massaged my back but I could not even lean over onto the bed as this interfered with the trace. I was completely wired up - to the trace machine, to the drip, to my TENS machine and to my MP3 player - It was a major negotiation to move at all! The TENS machine helped a lot in the initial stages but I felt that the oxytocin led contractions were becoming too strong and painful. After a period of time I asked about pain management and was told the pains were only going to get a lot worse. At this point I requested the epidural as I was finding the contractions too difficult to deal with. I felt my body had had no time whatsoever to warm up for the contractions. I felt enormous relief after getting the epidural and don't regret the decision although I do wish the circumstances had been different.
Our midwife was super and kept us informed at all times of any developments. We both tried to get some rest then - I found it funny that any time a staff member came into the room they went straight over to the machine reading the heartbeat - whatever it is called. It was like the machine was giving birth and not me. I had heard this mentioned before but it was peculiar to see it in action. I fully understood at this point about the 'cascade of interventions'. At 4am my cervix was checked and I was fully dilated and so began the strange experience of pushing when I could not actually feel anything. The midwife told me when the contraction was happening and I breathed and pushed following her directions. Some meconium was visible after a little while but the heartbeat trace was always healthy. After a while the amount of meconium was increasing and there was so sign of the baby coming out. The registrar was called to give an opinion and she led the pushing for a while, trying the assist the baby out but it was not working despite much effort.
A more senior registrar was called in and he tried to manipulate the baby and then began to try the ventouse but after a time he said it looked like the baby was not going to come out through pushing, that she was at the wrong angle and considering the evidence of meconium, that they were going to have to consider a caesarian section. I tried even harder in subsequent pushes to bring her out but to no avail and was brought into theatre where a few final efforts to push were not successful. It was confirmed that they would have to perform a caesarian - I found it so upsetting but tried to remain calm. My aneasthetic was topped up at that point - the curtain was drawn across and I was set up for the section. My partner was brought back in and we were together throughout the procedure with the midwife holding my other hand. After a time, our baby was born and brought over to be seen to by the paediatrician. They announced that our baby was a 9 llb girl - we both felt unbelievable joy and happiness at the point. Once she was 'cleaned up', she was brought over to us and laid on my shoulder. It was a bit of a funny angle but I could see her face close up and could touch her while they were doing what they had to do with stitching me etc.
She was then given to my husband and I was taken away to the post op area and eventually brought up to the post natal suite. My husband came up to me after spending some time with her and told me that her temperature was elevated and she appeared to be in shock from the 'trauma' of the birth which meant a trip to the NICU. We were initially told it was only for a few hours but it turned out to be a four day visit! We had full access to her in the NICU and were able to successfully breastfeed day and night from day one and so were only counting our blessings at that point. The staff in NICU were very supportive and encouraging of breastfeeding and we were just so happy to have her safely with us. We brought her home on St Patrick's Day. We called our daughter Faye & I have been in a state of tired bliss every since her arrival.
So I guess I learned that labour is a very unpredictable thing! I never guessed that I would be so overdue or that I would have needed such active management of the birth. I wish I could have used more of the Gentle Birth techniques. I do know that all of the information we gained at the GB workshop stood to us as we were better able to negotiate to at least try for more time & were not going blindly into the situation as it developed.
Thanks to all of the Gentle Birth parents & Tracy for their advice and support throughout. We are enjoying this lovely spring with our beautiful daughter. Best wishes for happy pregnancies and deliveries to all. Thanks for reading!
Positive Induction
Hi everyone. my fabulous little boy was born on Monday 11th April and I wanted to share my story as I loved reading others labour and birth story so here it is:
We had an appt to be induced on Monday morning at 8am, I was really nervous about this as I wanted as natural a birth as possible with no epidural but from all the stories I'd read about being induced it was looking like I'd be going down the epidural route as the pain is ment to be worse and it takes longer as well. I'd purchased the gentle birth program at the beginning of the pregnancy and really wanted to try to use them to keep myself calm and in control of what was happening! So we got to the hospital at 8am and the consultant examined me at 9am and gave the postin gel to get things moving. He said he hoped I'd start contracting myself and then he'd break my waters at lunchtime.
Within minutes of the gel being inserted I started getting pains, they were bad enough from the beginning for me to ask the midwife if it was normal and she said that some women are sensitive to the gel and get pains but aren't actually in labour! Myself and my husband were told to go for a walk or down to the canteen or something just to give my body a chance to get working and then we'd go onto the labour ward when there was a bed ready! We went down to the canteen and got tea and toast(and some cake.....for energy of course!!). While sitting there I was getting pains and they were getting worse! I took out my phone that had an app for timing contractions just to see how it worked really for when I was in 'real' labour! The 'prostin pains' were coming every 2 mins and lasting 58 seconds!! I turned on the gentle birth program at this stage as I felt myself getting tense when I felt a pain coming and knew I had to be reminded to stay calm! After our brekkie we started making our way up to the labour ward again, all the while these pains stopping me in my tracks! There wasn't a bed ready yet so we went into the waiting room.
While in the waiting room I couldn't even sit! I was leaning on the window sill and swinging my hips from side to side! I did consider starting to use the tens machine I had rented but wanted to keep that for 'real' labour aswel so I just turned my phone on to repeat the birth affirmations on the gentle birth CD! I have to say I did laugh when the CD told me my partner was a great support and I turned around and he was playing solitaire on the iPad!! Ha ha
We were eventually called as our room was ready(they put us into the privte room we'd be in after delivery as there were no available beds o. The ward which suited me fine!!) when in ther I was asked to lay on the bed to be put on a trace so I lay down! The pai. Was so bad now I was grabbing g the bar behind my head and breathing hard! The trace showed I was getting no break at all between pains so the midwife said she check me to see if it was labour or just prostin pains! I said to my husband that if she said it wasn't labour then I was defo getting the epidural cos if the pain was going to be worse then what I had I was going to die!! She came back in and examined me and to my delight said I was 5-6cms already!! The relief!
Within seconds the midwifes face changed and she asked my husband(calmly sever) to press the red panic button behind him! I was getting another contraction so couldn't talk but I could see something was wrong! She couldn't find babys heartbeat and husband was going white as he could see the drama unfold! 3 or 4 people ran into the room in a panic when suddenly the heartbeat started again albeit very slow! I was put in a wheelchair and raced to the delivery room.
When in the delivery room I was given the gas and air(totally skipped the tens machine and the phone with the gentle birth CDs on it had been quickly disgarded in all the drama) I took a few puffs of the gas and air and felt I could continue on my own(as if I'd any choice at this stage!) husband was sent down to the car to get blankets I'd put in the wrong bag but when he was leaving I told him to hurry cos I knew things were moving quickly! Just as husband came back after running up and down to the car, my body started pushing! I couldn't hep it and the midwife was so surprised and told me to stop and breathe but I couldn't! She let out a roar for someo e to come in to deliver! The doc was with another woman so the administrator who was in a suit came in and put on an apron and helped the midwife deliver my son!
After only 3 pushes my gorgeous 8lbs1oz son was born at 12.58pm!! I couldn't believe it! Everything had gone as I had wanted! No epidural, no stitches, 4 hours fro. Start to finish even though I only knew I was in real labour for the last 20 mins!! It was just perfect and so is little James! We were let home yesterday, only 24 hours since he was born and so far he has been so good! His big brother, his dad and myself are absolutely chuffed with him!! Sorry for such a long post but I wanted to give my very positive induction story for any of you who like I was, are scared by all the bad things you read and also let you know the Gentlebirth CDs can still help even if induced!!
Good luck to all still waiting and welcome to all the angels born already!!!
More Wonderful Cork Births
I just wanted to share my Gentlebirth story with you and the rest of the girls! I honestly believe it was the reason I had such a great (and quick) labour.
I pretty much had a problem free pregnancy except for sciatica in my my right leg from about 15 weeks which meant that I couldn't really exercise that much. Other than that I had no problems but I must say I really didn't like being pregnant and was really looking forward to the end!
I got the gentle birthing cd's when I was about 16 weeks and until I was about 30 weeks I only listened to track 3 on cd 1 every so often. When I reached 30 weeks I listened to this track a bit more, maybe 3 times a week and I also listened to the affirmations every so often. Then at 34 weeks I finished work due to the sciatica and started listening to track 3 every day. I found it was great in the afternoon, it was kinda of a nap, I always fell asleep and woke up listening to the relaxation music. I always felt really refreshed after listening to it and I was never scared or nervous about the upcoming labour and birth.
Then on Tuesday night/Wednesday morning 22/23 Feb, it all started! I was only 37 weeks so it was very unexpected but amazingly I kept calm! I had been up to the toilet around 2am and felt nothing, then when I was getting up again at 4.15 to go to the toilet I felt a pop and a little gush (nothing as big as I expected waters to be) and thought is this my waters? I woke DH, and as we had been to our ante natal classes that morning he told me to go smell it!! So off I went to the toilet and it didn't smell (sorry TMI) so realised it was my waters. I then sat at the edge of the bed and 15 minutes later I got my first surge, it was like a period pain but nothing too bad. I then told Dh to download an app on his iPhone to time the surges. So he started timing them and they started off coming every 3 minutes, they were painful but every time one came I just stopped what I was doing and started to breath and managed very well with this. I rang the hospital and they said to come in. So I sent Dh down to have something to eat while I pottered around, finishing off packing my bag and charging the camera. I remained so calm I surprised myself, I layed out my clothes I wanted to wear coming home from the hospital, got a towel for the front seat of the car (in case I ruined it!!) and about an hour later we left for the hospital, at this stage the surges were 1-2 minutes apart and I was still really calm and relaxed and just breathing through each surge.
We arrived in the hospital 20 mins later at 6am and I was brought straight into the emergency room to be checked by the midwife. I was still walking and talking, and while it was painful it was no where as bad as I thought it was going to be. the midwife checked me and I thought I was only just starting and to my utter amazement she said I was 8-9 cms dilated, i couldn't believe it. She then called Dh in and we were transferred down to the labour ward. Cumh is fantastic and the room in the labour ward was fab. In the labour ward I was put on the trace to check babs and I really didn't like that as I had to lie in the bed but thank god I was only on that for about 15 mins, then I got off the bed and sat on an exercise ball at the end of the bed. At this stage the surges were intensifying so I started using gas and air which I found great. Dh was great, offering loads of support and encouragement as were the midwives.
At 7.30 I started pushing, which I must say I found very hard and started to panic a bit. The midwife was very encouraging, getting me to change position and trying to relax me. It took 2 hours of pushing to get my LO out, but I do believe that if I hadn't panicked it would have taken a lot less time. I owe a huge thanks to the midwife who let me push for so long, but she said afterwards that she knew babs was happy as her heart rate was fine and that she really felt I could do it by myself and didn't need an assisted delivery, thank god because in the end I only had a slight tear, she called it more a graze then a tear and had only 3 stitches. When LO came out she came straight onto my tummy and was perfect even though she was the 3 weeks early. And I got to cuddle her for about 30 mins before she was taken to be weighed and dressed, it was amazing.
So in total my labour lasted 5 hours from my waters breaking to LO coming out, not bad for a first time mum. I never thought I would remain so calm and relaxed and can only put it down to the gentle birth cd's. It shows that even if you don't follow the programme fully, you can still get an awful lot out of it.
Thank you Tracey for producing such fab cd's, I've been raving about you to all my friends, who swear they'll be using you for their second babies (after very long labours on their firsts!).
A Positive Caesarean
Well Today is Day 8 post section and all is going well albeit a little slowly ha ha ! We didn’t get our VBAC unfortunately but we did get a lot of our birth wishes and so the experience of the section wasn’t too bad !
Well I was admitted at 38+5 after pushing for more and more time from the doctors, I finally relented and also was a little worried that should my waters go Leon was at risk. So This started my 12 day hospital stay .... God this was tough, my biggest concern was that I was leaving Reuben (22 months) for so long and would then return home with a new baby and I was scared this would be much more difficult on him than if I had not been in hospital for so long before the birth ! He visited as much as his Dad could get him in and spoke to me on the phone as much as he could also and thank goodness for my MIL who stepped in so that my DH wouldn’t have to take time of before the birth !
Anyway the events during the 10 days before the birth in the hospital were pretty uneventful ! A consultant came in every morning and obs were done every couple of hours this was so frustrating as I could still feel the baby's head under my ribs so they weren't telling me anything I didn’t already know ! What was very interesting though was the difference of opinion of each doctor that visited.
It was great that none were putting pressure on to make a date for a section but some of the doctors were so condescending. I had your book with me Tracy the Guide to C sections and VBAC in Ireland and also the hypnobirthing stuff, one doctor threw his eyes up to heaven when I explained what it was and another picked it up of my locker (a little rude imo) and looked disdainfully asking me if it was any good (the same doc has written some books of his own !!) And the head midwife who did the rounds was the worst she pointed my reading material out to one of the Docs who basically said to me that "a little learning is a dangerous thing" I said to him that I hoped he didnt apply the same rules to his own life given the work he does !!!
However I then met some other fantastic docs. I had asked about an ECV early in my stay and was told no basically as it wouldn’t work and the baby would just turn again anyway ! But on Day 6 a Dutch Doc did the rounds and asked straight away if id considered ECV I said I had but the Docs seemed to think it would not be a good idea, he said that he was confident that there would be no issues if he were to do it and if he could get the baby to turn he would know if the lie was stable and I could be home for Easter (the next day). So we called DH in and later that day he tried the ECV x 2. I was so excited because when he started he said wow the baby is turning really easily but then scanned and was like oh no the little bugger didn’t move at all !!! so he tried again and still no budging him. This doc then said that he really felt there was nothing else that they could do and I should schedule a section after the Bank Hol. I was a semi P patient so they wanted my own "Doctor" to see me first (this never happened !). When the consultants came on Tues they decided as the ECV (or chinese burn on the belly as one midwife described it which is kinda apt, but the hypnobirthing def made the experience very manageable with minimum discomfort) hadnt worked to schedule the section for the next day my due date ! At this stage I was ok with it as I felt that I really had tried everything !
So Tues (26th April) night (the night before the scheduled section) I began feeling a little funny and during the night felt like I had some pains or what felt like kinda stretching or something but by Wed morning at about 5am ish they were now regular and were def contractions and I lost my mucus plug too. I let the midwives know and text DH at 5.30am in case he needed to get in asap ! I showered and prepared myself for the day and they brought me down to prep me at about 9am. The contractions were now about 3-4 mins apart but there was no concern as my waters hadnt gone but the surgeon felt that we should move the surgery up a little anyway so we contacted DH and they said they would begin as soon as he got there.
Now in the week before I was hospitalised I wrote a letter to the Master expressing my birth wishes should a c section be deemed medically necessary and I had spoken to several of the lactation team around this also.
My preferences were simple;
- to avoid separation
- to have skin to skin as soon as possible
- to be allowed bf as soon as possible
- for the cord to be left pulsating
However during the 10 days prior to delivery there was very mixed attitudes to the birth wishes and I often heard that separation was likely and skin to skin was unlikely until we got back to the ward. However the lactation team were really pushing for it and were delighted to have someone so proactive about bfing as soon as possible.
So DH arrived I was prepped, he was prepped and after the anesthetic was put in and they were ready to begin the incision DH was brought in. The atmosphere in the theatre was calm and inclusive, everyone including the surgeons let us know what was happening at each stage and even joked a little about how stubborn babba was as they delivered his feet and could not get his little head down. The surgeon said to me at that point there was no way he could have been born any other way. When they managed to deliver Leon he was a little stunned so they had to cut the cord and use suction and oxygen and then he was happy out. Again the whole team ensured we knew what was happening.
This is the best bit, Leon was brought over to us wrapped in the blankets we had for him and I got to kiss him. He then stayed with DH beside me which was lovely. Then before we knew it they must have finished stitching me and the atmosphere in the room became even more relaxed and lovely. I was propped up right and the baby was placed on my chest and he began to feed. The staff reduced in the room and each person that had been there congratulated us and left until there was me DH and about two to three others, one it seemed specifically helping with latching and the others monitoring me. Essentially the OR was changed into a recovery room and there was no rushing me. Leon fed for about 45 mins and the staff took photos in the theatre, they are amazing ! Then afterwards DH took Leon off to be dressed and I was brought to recovery for about 15 mins so we had our lovely family time, Leon fed and it went well and then we settled into our room.
